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St John Paul II Catholic Church

Nocatee, FL

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confession

February 11, 2022 By assistant@nocateecatholic.com 2 Comments

“Corralled and Captured into Confession”

A testimony.

He left the 99 to rescue me.

God many times uses our kids to wake us up to truth.  When my daughter was in third grade she woke me up to face an obstinate place in my heart. Pride, stubbornness and the need for Confession. Visualize how cattle are corralled into an enclosed area. Then they are held captive until the rancher guides them to a different location. I experienced being corralled and held captive so the Holy Spirit could speak to my heart. Out of the mouth of babes came an invitation. God personally used my young innocent daughter to invite me back to the sacrament of Confession. This is my story…

Like many young girls, my daughter faced, some all to common, damaging verbal abuse by classmates in 3rd grade.

Verbal abuse is destructive. The bullies were her classmates and also were on her traveling soccer team. So the abuse followed her in and out of school. Her wounds kept festering and my words brought no comfort or healing.

It progressed to the point where she started to demean herself and her grades were dropping. We finally came to a difficult but necessary decision to change schools on her mid-year. Needless to say, we all had a lot of forgiving to do.

For months I routinely prayed with her about the whole situation, and we constantly worked on forgiving those girls in our hearts. I had to work even harder on forgiving their moms who thought my daughter was the problem. Much effort with very little change in either of our hearts persisted.  After months of trying to heal these wounds on our own, I finally reached out for help.

A little about me…

I was raised in the 60’s with a culture of rebellion and it seeped into my mind and actions. My rebellion was centered mainly at the Catholic Church. Targeted areas were the sacraments, the rosary, etc.  My husband, kids and I were only Sunday Mass goers with no other participation in the church activities.  I felt the sacrament of Confession was unnecessary because I could tell God directly my sins. So I passed my philosophy down to my kids and after their first confession, it was their last. I wasn’t going to take them to something I didn’t believe was necessary.

During that time we had a new young priest who was touching the hearts of the entire parish. He spoke boldly and honestly. His words took many of us out of our comfort zone and made us look honestly at ourselves. Many hearts were opened and changed by his sermons and mine was one of them. My daughter and I needed to vent and find new words of wisdom to try to forgive. So I finally made the call and made an appointment with this priest. Little did I know that  God had something bigger He wanted me to experience.

After sharing all the detailed events of the bullying, the priest gave us excellent points on forgiving. Nevertheless, it did little to move my stubborn heart. Then came the first invitation. It was the week before Easter and he invited us to go to confession that night in a parish that was hosting it. Of course, I was embarrassed to say that my kids and I hadn’t gone to Confession for years. So I kept quiet. The Holy Spirit knew the invitation had to go deeper and more intimate. My daughter quickly said “Mommy can we go tonight to Confession?” I had been lovingly but directly corralled and captured to do what I did not want to do. Go back to the sacrament of Confession. The invitation pierced my stubborn prideful heart.

A few hours later, we were on our way to answer the invitation. I put on a good front while driving to church but I was angry about being roped into this uncomfortable situation. My confession was brief and far from complete. I hadn’t gone for over 20 years. I mainly asked for forgiveness for the many times I had put down the Catholic Church. The elderly priest gave his absolution and of course did not question the years of sins I did not confess.

When we were leaving the church the real-life changing event happened.

I was murmuring to God as we were going to car how I was watching the many who were going to confession and not one of them looked or acted repentant. Judging was something I practiced frequently so once again my dominant sin of pride took front and center. Well, that is when God stepped in and got my attention. I was about to experience Confession’s sacramental grace. He did not speak out loud to me but He wrote this on my heart, “you are not the judge, I am!” I heard it clearly and it pierced my prideful heart. Absolutely humbled I almost knelt on the concrete to repent.

This is what made the difference. Our Catholic sacraments carry a grace with them. That grace is powerful.

The sacrament of Confession had wiped out my sins. The sacramental grace that comes with it then shines and shows clearly anything that offends God. So God’s voice could go to the core of my heart. A spotlight was finally shown on my sin of judgement. Furthermore, the sin of pride repeatedly blinds us from the truth.  I had for years been judging everyone else, playing God. Through this confessional encounter I was humbled and finally put God back in the drivers seat.

Going back to Confession also brought about more revelations. My war I had waged with the Catholic Church was over. I saw clearly that cooperating with the sin of pride for years had blinded me from seeing how God wanted to use me in His church. Through this Confession a flame had been ignited in me to become very involved in my faith. I found out how important it is to examine anything that we resist or say no to repeatedly. Many times it is the very thing that God is calling us to.

Both my daughter and I moved on and were able to forgive those girls and their moms. And I started a new adventure and purpose in my Catholicism which has persisted. It was part of my calling from God. He used this most difficult situation and made excellence come from it. Romans 8:28

Filed Under: Confession Tagged With: confession, Mass, priest, rebellion

February 11, 2022 By assistant@nocateecatholic.com 1 Comment

“Rosary Rebel”

A testimony.
He left the 99 to rescue me

Many different cultures have bred rebellion, which is being in opposition to authority. Ultimately God’s authority.  I could have written the book on this in the 1960’s. Rebellion was a way of life for me. Other contributing factors were my strong German Catholic upbringing with my dominant sin of pride. The rebellion war I waged was mainly against the Catholic Church. Targeted areas were the Mass, sacraments, rules and regulations, and of course the rosary.

In my opinion the rosary was rote, repetitious and boring. My prideful self-told me that my spontaneous prayers were much more effective.  Much later I would learn that the reason the rosary is so powerful is because it comes from scripture. Praying God’s Word back to Him is powerful and precious. He blesses us for using the words He gave us.

25 years prior to my rosary conversion, my mom had died the year I got married. She was my hero. One memory I have of her is she seemed to always have a rosary in her hands. Yet never did she force us to pray it with her. Her actions did speak louder than words to me. It took years to learn because of my pride. Many things that we strongly resist in life are usually the most life changing. Evil fights hard in our lives when victories are forthcoming. My continued cooperation with the sin of pride blinded me from seeing truth. God’s Word is in the rosary and its protection and power are conversional. Her constant quiet rosaries were instrumental in bringing me back to my faith years after she died. I believe that once our prayers go up to God, they are in His time zone, not ours. He can use them for the person’s intentions well after they die. God saved some of those prayers for me by my mom, the day of my rosary conversion.  I believe that with all my heart.

State of affairs before my conversion.
My husband and I had adopted 3 babies and had moved multiple times across the country for his job.  Our lives were busy but uneventful until they grew older. Teenage years are challenging and wake us up as parents. The hormones, rebellion and extreme concern that evil doesn’t win in their lives is real and overwhelming at times. The years of love and formation can easily be snatched overnight. That is exactly what happened in our family. One of our kids got snatched! It was scary and sobering. God definitely became “front and center”.

God strategically placed in my life at that time very strong Catholic friends. One especially befriended me. After repeatedly asking for prayers for my lost
teenager, she strongly suggested that she bring over a holy picture of Our Lady of Guadalupe. Even though I was not into Mary at all, I did not want to lose her friendship, so I finally said yes. She brought over the portrait and placed it in a chair at my formal dining room table. I thought this is harmless, so I cooperated. As she was leaving, she said there was only one thing I needed to do. “Pray the rosary daily with my kids”.  I gasped. I hated the rosary, my kids did not know the rosary and they were teenagers! Nevertheless, when you are desperate for answers as I was, you will try anything. My love and concern for my kid was paramount over my rebellion.

To put a face on desperate, let me briefly explain. My son had quit high school mid-year as a senior.  My husband and I agreed on this decision due to choices he was making. Therefore, he was home with me daily. We both became most lost. That makes a mom desperate!

So, back to the rosary.
In extreme desperation for three consecutive nights my teenagers reluctantly gathered with me in the formal dining room. Rebellion took on a new form. Three out of control teenagers and one determined mom gathered in front of Our Lady of Guadalupe. We prayed for 3 nights the most disgusting and disrespectful rosaries! Every night after our fiasco, I prayed for forgiveness. God was also introducing to me His Divine Mercy.

Fourth morning.
My high school son and I were doing morning errands. Out of the blue he asked me if we could go to Mass and confession. My mouth dropped! I weekly forced myself to go to Sunday Masses but Confession was never a practice in our home. I stopped the car and couldn’t believe what had come out of his mouth. This was a huge breakthrough in the making. Needless to say we both went to confession and Mass that day. God listened to His Mom’s prayers through our disrespectful rosaries. That is the only explanation to my son’s request. It ended up being a conversional experience for both of us. Confession was a critically important step to soften our hearts and give us both sacramental grace for change. That change was humility.  It worked.

This encounter with Our Lady’s intercessory power was profound.
She took three disgusting and disrespectful rosaries to our Lord and asked for a miracle in my son’s heart.
It was the beginning of many conversions through Our Lady’s intercession. I became a humble rosary fan and promoter of Our Lady of Guadalupe needless to say.

A critical point about scripture.
God’s Word is your ultimate prayer partner. Think about a time where you spoke some necessary truth in love to someone in your life. This could be to your kid, a good friend, a spouse. Then sometime later, possibly years, they express how important it was that you spoke truth in love to them. It absolutely warms our hearts, blesses us and shows us how truth sets us free. John 8:31-32.
The Our Father and Hail Mary come straight from scripture. Just like us, God is ultra-blessed when we speak His language back to Him. Also, He answers in His time, His way and how He knows what is best for us. Needless to say, that brings about a lifetime of working on trust in Him. He invites us daily into this
amazing adventure.

Another point. Do you ever get tired of being told “I love you”? Well, saying
“Hail Mary’s” over and over are like telling God and Mary you love Them.
Never does it get old to Them.
And repetition builds relationship.

My invitation to you…
Pray the rosary.
Start with a decade daily.
An added bonus is agreement in prayer with someone, Matthew 18:19.
Invite someone to pray with you.
Husbands and fathers are paramount, and God ordained leaders for this in marriages and families. Moms have special ways to get answers in difficult and stubborn areas. Teaming up with God’s Mom is the ultimate prayer partner. I invite you not to miss this opportunity and gift!

Filed Under: Prayer Tagged With: confession, conversion, our lady of guadalupe, rosary, rosary conversion, teenagers

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